Well, it’s Election Day, again, and we at Drinkhacker are here to help you through the shitshow the only way we know how — with booze.

There aren’t a lot of things Americans agree upon at this challenging moment in U.S. politics, except perhaps for one: It’s time for a stiff drink. Sober October is over, people.

So call into work right now and tell them you’re sick to your stomach. It’ll be true enough, soon enough. You’re not going in tomorrow, because you’re going to be doing the right thing by sleeping all of these boozy libations off.

Below we have collected a variety of cocktails suitable for enjoyment on Election Day on into Election Night, should you find yourself celebrating a victory, drowning your sorrows, or silencing the uncertainty that is likely to linger for the next two weeks — all unabashedly designed to get you lit. We’ve got classics and new recipes represented — and, unlike U.S. politics, a little something for everyone.

Rob kicks things off with a gentle classic to get things started.

“I do expect I will be making generous portions of a cocktail called “Royal Romance”. Invented by J. Perosino, it won first prize in the British Empire Cocktail competition in 1934 and is the perfect salute to America on this, the most democratic of evenings.” – Rob Theakston

Royal Romance
1/2 part dry gin (note: the recipe calls for Booth’s but any dry gin can do the job here)
1/4 part Grand Marnier
1/4 part passion fruit juice
1 dash grenadine

Pour over ice, shake, strain, serve, repeat until sunrise.

And here’s an original one from our newest writer, Sailor:

“It is the eve of the election. I am oscillating between excitement of witnessing the first female President of the United States and fear of the unknown. Either way, I am nervous and looking for methods to quell my anxiety. Luckily, I live in a state where I can easily vote from the comfort of my home. I folded the laundry. What’s left? Drinks! To celebrate this occasion, I have brought together independently owned American spirits from coast to coast, inspired by the diversity of our nation and the unique perspectives of our regional spirits’ producers.” – Sailor Guevara

Campaign Cooler
1 oz Astraea Ocean gin
1 oz Sorel liqueur
0.5 oz Fast Penny Amaro Bianca
0.5 oz fresh orange juice
3 dashes Hella Chili bitters

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker with cubed ice and shake well. Strain into an Old Fashioned glass over a king cube and garnish with a dried orange.

From our man in Massachusetts, who was the one who said we should do this post:

“Alaska doesn’t have a lot of electoral college votes, but the cocktail of the same name might be just what you need tonight. Offering a complex, herbal mix of gin, yellow Chartreuse, and orange bitters, this drink takes you away to a more delicious, contemplative space.” – Robert Lublin

Alaska
2 oz gin
3/4 oz yellow Chartreuse
3 dashes orange bitters

Add all ingredients to a glass with ice. Stir until ice cold. Strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with a lemon peel.

How about this classic from Monica?

“What’s the drink with the shot of whiskey in a pint of beer, again?” – Monica Uhm

Boilermaker
1 oz bourbon
8 oz beer

Pour the beer into a pint glass. Pour the whiskey into a shot glass. Drop the shot glass into the pint glass. Forgive yourself.

As for me, I’m taking it upscale tonight, for obvious reasons, with this classic that has been deemed the genesis of the worst hangover you can have.

Porn Star Martini
1 1/2 oz vanilla vodka
1/2 oz passion fruit liqueur
1 oz passion fruit puree
1/2 oz lime juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
sparkling wine

Shake all ingredients except the wine with ice, strain into a coupe. Top with sparkling wine. Call your lawyer.

And here’s a trio of originals from Sailor, all built around spirits+beer. You know, so you can get more mileage out of the later hours tonight without having to run back to the kitchen.

Panic At The Polls
1 oz botanical gin
2 dashes orange bitters
1 can of chilled 10 Barrel Brewing Disco Lemonade

Add all ingredients to a Collins glass over cubed ice and gently stir. Garnish with a lemon slice.

Votes On The Rocks
1.5 oz reposado tequila
1 oz cinnamon syrup
2 dashes aromatic bitters
2 dashes tiki bitters
1 can of chilled Red Hook Big Ballard IPA

Add all ingredients to a goblet halfway with cubed ice and gently stir. Garnish with an orange wheel.

Elect-Fashioned
1 oz bourbon
0.5 oz honey syrup
3 dashes tobacco bitters
Widmer Brothers Deadlift Imperial IPA

Add bourbon, syrup and bitters to a mixing glass with cubed ice. Stir well until chilled. Strain into an Old Fashioned glass over a king cube and top with chilled beer.

And if all else fails, here’s one final cocktail suggestion from Lublin that we swear to God will do the trick.

Whiskey
3 oz. whiskey

Serve neat.

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